Kachank, Kachunk, Kaboom!
by spoonerdog123
Summary: Kachank, because noises make everything cooler. Kachunk, because that's the sound of a cool noise. Kaboom, because that's the noise when I stab you and your guts go everywhere. Okay, so that's a bit... warm, but metaphorically it's cool – you get me? And we'll do it again and again, it'll be great! (Thornshipping. Contains stabbing, swearing, loops, and sexual references)


**Pairing: **Thornshipping (Yami Marik/Anzu)

**Handicap: Noisy Little Spooner** – Fic must be all dialogue and onomatopoeias.

**Reasoning: **Contest follow up, xDD

**Frontline Time: **Three hours after pairing announcement. Yes, I am probably a tad wonky in the head.

**Length: **900 words; keeping it nice and short, because formatting was a real pain.

**Warnings: **Sexual references, language, looping, and stabbings.

* * *

I won, last night. Against the Pharaoh, you saw it...

And you know what's next, Anzu...

You must hate me so much...

It's delicious...

_._

_Shreeeeeinksshhh..._

_(sound of a knife being drawn.)_

_._

"You wouldn't."

"I would."

"You _wouldn't_. You can't."

"I _would_, and I _can_... Honey."

"Don't call me that, you stuck up–"

"Don't call who what, sweetie pops?"

"_Me._ Don't call me honey, _or _sweeti– "

"How about 'bee attractor', then? Or 'lollipop?'"

"No, no, no. I am _not _having you running around–"

"But killing people is my _specialty_! I'd love to kill you, _hard_–"

"You really think_ I'm_ going to fall for a badly disguised sex metaphor?"

"Face it. I am the _epitome _of hate. I don't want sex, I want _hate _sex."

"You're kidding me. I - there is absolutely no way that I'm going to indulge your ha-"

"Who cares? I'm indulging myself. If it's hatred, it's gotta be all good! I'll make you hate m-"

"I'm saying no I have to say no no _no nononononoooooOooooooohhhhhe is kind of pretty NO NO NO_

_say yes_

_means the world_

_and your baby Pharaoh_

_is all dead and_

_gone_

"**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! **"

_KAIIIIIEEEEEEEEYYYAHAHICKhhrrrrk...haaaackk...yyic kk...chaahaaaIEEEEErrrk..._

_(sound of a girl being stabbed repeatedly)_

"...Ohhh, that does feel good."

"...Killing you, I mean."

"...Hate's so fun!"

"...Anzu?"

_._

.

.

**"I know you trapped me in an hourglass, but this is ridiculous."**

_"I'm sure it is... Wait, what did I do wrong again?"_

**"You... killed her. Stabbed her–"**

_That wasn't my fault._

**"You_ perved_–"**

_"Did not."_

**"Liar."**

.

_shiicksshhh_

_(a beetle_

_falls)_

_._

**"Liar."**

_"Am not."_

**"You _told _her–"**

_"That wasn't my lying."_

**"You were still the one that killed–"**

_"I'm sure I was... Wait, so who did I kill again?"_

**"Fine, be like that. This is ridiculous enough already."**

.

.

.

_KaclickeeeeEEEEEEeeaaaayyyikikikikkkrrrssshhhhiKT. _

_(sound of a creaky door opening and closing)_

_._

"Get up."

"... ..."

"I want to kill you again."

"... ... ... ... ..."

"Just you and me, eh? Good times."

"... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..."

"And we'll show my idiotic host just who's more hateful!"

"... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..."

"COME ON! LET'S GO! I'm hatred itself! I can do anything..._anything!_"

"... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..."

"I'll use Monster Reborn, and I'll destroy all your enemies at once as well! MONSTER FU–"

"... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..."

"... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..."

_Hwarrssssshhkrllskrlskrlskrshhhkah–shickfwaash_

_(sound of a deck of cards hitting the floor)_

"...Dammit! Why, why can't I..."

"...You were a good kill..."

"...You _hated _me..."

...hated...

.

.

.

_no._

_I am hatred itself_

_I need no hatred-filled person, I AM_

_I love to kill people_

_like_

_._

_._

_._

_me_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_wait._

_Wait a minute..._

_I want to kill you over and_

_over and over and over and never_

_stop so all I'll do is just win_

_by win I mean_

_lose_

_._

_._

_._

_win_

_._

_._

_._

_lose_

_to lose is death..._

_but in my Vahalla I'll just_

_kill you over and over and over_

_and over if I just can_

_got to lose_

_win_

_._

_._

_._

_win_

_._

_._

_._

_and_

_and when I lose_

_I'll have all the hatred I trutly_

_need so much_

_die_

_._

_._

_._

...winning...

"...She _hated _you..."

"...You're a good opponent..."

"...Dammit! Why, why can't I... _lose?!_"

_Hwarrssssshhkrllskrlskrlskrshhhkah–shickfwaasssshh hhUMP._

_(sound of a deck of cards hitting the floor, a grown man falling to his knees)_

_._

_._

_._

"I am giving up."

"I don't believe you."

"Then - I am giving up, _Thief._"

"You could have won the game..."

"Blame it on Marik. He's making me surrender."

"Very well. I... accept your surrender. That m-"

"Don't explain it, sir Pharaoh. Please, kill me already."

"Did you... just call me... _did you just seriously fucking call me-_"

_"HURRY UP AND FUCKING KILL ME, YA USELESS, UNDERSIZED, ALBINO-BRAT!"_

"...I'll call that close enough to normal. I _think _it's kind of normal for you-"

"Oh, _I give up_! GO and boil your stupid fucking head - _if_ you could even fricking get it into the saucepa-"

.

_KAIIIIIEEEEEEEEYYYAHAHICKhhrrrrk...haaaackk...yyic kk...chaahaaaIEEEEErrrk..._

_(sound of a guy being stabbed repeatedly)_

_._

"...Ohhh, that does feel good."

"...Getting killed, I mean."

"...Soon, I'll be..."

"...Anzu?"

_._

_._

_._

_"...Bakura?"_

_"I'm here to punish._

_I'm not going to reward you."_

_"Does that mean we have to duel again?"_

_"Nope, it means that you die."_

_"Oh, that means..."_

_"...Anzu!"_

_._

_KAIIIIIEEEEEEEEYYYAHAHICKhhrrrrk...haaaackk...yyic kk...chaahaaaIEEEEErrrk..._

_(sound of a girl being stabbed repeatedly)_

_"I killed you! This is great!"_

_._

_KAIIIIIEEEEEEEEYYYAHAHICKhhrrrrk...haaaackk...yyic kk...chaahaaaIEEEEErrrk..._

_(sound of a girl being stabbed repeatedly)_

_"I love this hatred! I love it!"_

_._

_KAIIIIIEEEEEEEEYYYAHAHICKhhrrrrk...haaaackk...yyic kk...chaahaaaIEEEEErrrk..._

_(sound of a thousand stabbings)_

_(the same noises)_

_(looping)_

_..._

_(cord loop)_

"What Penalty Game did you give him, Yami Yugi?"

"I trapped him in a world of his own hatred."

"So, he's gonna be tortured by hate?"

"On the contrary, he'll pretend

that he won and so he

can live on in a

world of his

hatred."

.

"...I think, if he wasn't pure hate... I think he'd love it."

"I think so too, Anzu. I think so, too."

_._

_Shreeeeeinksshhh..._

_(sound of a knife being drawn...)_

_._

_(loop)_


End file.
